Praying for a Wife (Proverbs 19:14)

There are many different things that one may inherit from his parents, however, a wife is not one of those things. She comes directly from the Lord.

"Houses and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding and prudent wife is from the Lord." Proverbs 19:14, Amplified

There is not much to say about this verse because it is so self explanatory. Our parents may leave us with the wealth of this world or even a wealth of knowledge. But the Lord is the only one who can give us the wife of our desires. This can even be said of women and their husbands.

My mother prayed for my wife since I was in the fourth grade. At first I thought it kind of weird, but after thinking about it, I realize that she was praying for my wife long before I met her, long before she knew who I was. It is because of prayer that I met my wife. The Lord led me on a fantastic journey of meeting my wife. Every relationship failed because she was not the one for me. Relationships ended abruptly and I have no idea why. But if my mother had not prayed for Rhiannon, would I have ever met her? Who knows. But what I do know is this: my wife came from the Lord.

Wives and Sons (Proverbs 19:13)

Though family is important, it can also be the undoing of a person.

"A self-confident and foolish son is the [multiplied] calamity of his father, and the contentions of a wife are as continual dropping [of water through a chink in the roof]." Proverbs 19:13, Amplified

A foolish son is the undoing of his father. The father is supposed to take the role of teacher in the relationship. But when the son becomes self confident and foolish, does that reflect on the father? Yes. Every father wants to brag on their child when he is a success. However, when that child acts foolishly, there is nothing more to brag about, for everyone is focused on the bad within the child ad not the good that might possibly be left over.

As for a wife, if she is contentious, she is a continual dripping. I remember when we had some pretty severe rain this last winter, there was a leak in my roof. Some interesting things went on inside myself when that leak appeared. First I became stressed at the fact there was a leak in my roof. Next was the uncomfortablity of having to navigate my around the leak and the puddle it left. Finally there was the irritation of the leak when the whole house went silent. As we tried to relax there was the steady sound of dripping that seemed to be more of a sonic boom than anything. I do not know if having a contentious wife would make me feel this way, but if it did, I would understand why the Bible speaks of her so. All I know is that I would not want one.

Rhiannon (Proverbs 18:22)

This next verse has to be one of my most favorite out of all of the Proverbs. I hung my heart on this verse for so long because I wanted to be married.

"He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22, Amplified

There is a fact about me that some of you may not know. In fact I will bear myself to you and expose two things that may not be known.

First, I remained a virgin until the age of 21. My heart was so intent on being able to give that to my wife. Many of my friends did not understand why I wouldn't have sex and I suffered much ridicule. Unfortunately I gave up my virginity to a girl who was not my wife. You see, I was so focused on the fact of loving and being loved, that the Lord became a close second in my life. No longer did my quest include the Lord, rather I had given it over to my libido. I was so sure that Roberta was going to be my wife, that I gave my heart and soul over to her. In that there was a pregnancy scare. What I did not know, is that she was already pregnant and was trying to find a suitable husband and father. Thanks to science and the County of Riverside, I found that the baby was not mine. If I had remained on my quest of virginity, all this would have never transpired.

Second, I was so in love with being in love, that I was engaged several times. Rhiannon (my wife now) was not my first attempt at happiness. I had asked five girls to marry me. The problem with this whole scenario is that someone ends up getting hurt. It has been so long, I cannot remember everyone I had asked to marry me. What I do remember, because of my impatience I hurt people and I was hurt.

Rhiannon and I were together for a long time. We even broke up for a while. But our relationship stood the test and trials of life. We knew each other as friends before we knew each other as lovers. When I found Rhiannon, I found a good thing and I obtained much favor from the Lord. My advice to anyone who is itching to get married is to be patient and wait.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, NKJV)

Crown of a Husband (Proverbs 12:3)

The wife of a man is placed together with him to be his helpmate. The Lord established marriage to bring together two separate entities and make them one in spirit and heart and mind. The wife plays a very important role in this relationship. She is the bringer of joy and pride to her husband.

"A virtuous and worthy wife - earnest and strong in character - is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is a rottenness to his bones." Proverbs 12:4, Amplified

In the last chapter of Proverbs we find the description of the woman of God. Often it is referred to as the Proverbs 31 woman. The purpose of a wife is to bring help to her husband, this is why the institution of marriage was created. The Lord wanted to bring a helpmate for His creation Adam. She was created from a rib bone, close to his heart, under his arm, to come along side him. As she fulfills this role in the marriage relationship, it then becomes a crown of joy to her husband. Notice that it is not the acts that she commits or the role she plays. She becomes the crown of joy upon his head.

The crown sits upon the head of the king, or royalty. Out of all the items of clothing man has worn throughout the years, the crown has been the most ornate and beautiful. Not only is it beautiful but it also proclaims authority. It is a symbol of pride. Only one man in a nation would wear a crown. It distinguished that one man from the rest of the people.

But she can also become a rottenness to his bones. When she does not fulfill her role as a virtuous wife, the becomes a shame to him. It is possible for a woman to be independent in the marriage relationship, but this is not the role she was called to play. From this rottenness springs forth bitterness and resentment. He gets sick thinking about his own wife, because she is no longer his glory, but now she is his undoing.

Ladies, it is so important for you to be that crown of joy for your husband. However, men, we need to be that godly king who deserves that crown of glory. As we pursue Christ, so she will pursue us. Be that man of God we are all called to be.